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For the past ten days I’ve been working as a Faculty Advisor for summer orientation. This means talking to a bunch of anxious (and super young-looking!) first-years about things like graduation requirements, course loads and placement tests, and answering questions like “who are the cool professors?”, “are these classrooms too far apart?” and, of course, “can I skip 101?” For the most part the job has been sweet. There’s no prep and I do enjoy the tangible rewards that advising, unlike my research, affords. In the past week I’ve received several “Thank you so much, you have been incredibly helpful to me.” And that feels good. Plus I’m getting paid to do almost nothing.
There were, however, conversations like this one that really, um, made we want to scream: “WHY ARE YOU HERE?!” Have a look-see:
Student: So, I need one more class. But I don’t know what to take.
Me: What interests you?
Student: I dunno.
Me: OK. Have you imagined what general area your major might be in?
Student: No.
Me: Hmm…OK. Well why don’t you take a class that satisfies your GUR requirements? Like, a social science or a humanities class.
Student: I’ll take a social science.
Me: OK, what about this Psychology class? It’s an intro class.
Student: Is it hard?
Me: Well, it’s for students who have never taken a Psych. class before, so the material will be introductory level. It won’t be very challenging in that way. Just keep up with the reading and be sure to attend lectures for quiz and exam notes.
Student: I don’t want a class that requires a lot of reading.
Me: Um…OK…what about a math class?
Student: I hear math has a lot of homework. I don’t want a class with a lot of homework my first quarter.
Intervening Advisor (who saw me squirm): Do you like movies?
Student: Yeah. I like movies.
IA: Theater 201. It’s Introduction to Cinema. You watch films each week and discuss them. It’s really fun. And you do learn a lot. I took it when I was a freshman and loved it.
Student: Cool.
Student from across the aisle: But the films are old! In black and white! And a lot have subtitles. They’re so boring!
Student: Ouch (he really said that!). Are there other film classes?
IA: No, this is the only Introductory class. To get into the other film classes you first have to take this one.
Student: What about like an art class?
Me: Well there’s an Art History class open.
Student: Art History. Art History. Where you can make things?
Me: Well, no. This is where you study about the history of different art forms. Or periods.
Student: Well I like art but I don’t like sitting around and talking about it. I don’t want classes where you sit around and talk about things.
Oy. Thank gawd I had to go right after he said that.
So, by now many of you might have already discovered the wonderful world of Wordle, a website that creates your own word clouds (it’s free!). Simply copy and paste a document — CV, resume, poem, manifesto — and see what comes of it. Most frequently written words are of course the biggest. A good way to waste time indeed. I decided to Wordle an essay I’m “working” on right now. Guess what it’s about? (Click to enlarge).
After this, I thought why not try this other essay I’m working on, one that I find much more interesting, but which I’ve set aside for the “ethnocyborg” project. After Wordling this one, it occurred to me that I might be using one word in particular a bit too much. In this one, I pasted 200 more words than the first Wordle project:
Great way to see what you’re all about in a way.
On the treadmill this morning it occurred to me that I currently lead a very unrealistic life, and that if I don’t address this issue I will soon hit the proverbial wall and crumble. All to pieces. Just like that dude called Humpty freakin’ Dumpty. Here’s the problem: my “to do” list is insane:
- Run the Rain City Marathon (it’s in November)
- Get in shape again. (A year of postpartum depression = lots of empty calories)
- Complete a book proposal by the end of this summer (this is to be considered related to the next goal, but for some reason I feel the need to keep them separate).
- Write a book, either one that comes out of the proposal above or one that comes out of an entirely new project (in which case, I’d have to add another goal: devise a new book project).
- Publish two peer-reviewed articles in less than three years. (This, I hear, is next to impossible, but I try).
- Be the best mom in the world (the fact that I instinctively entered this after the previous five suggests I’m not doing so well with this goal, right?).
- Develop life-long new friendships with a few good women in Crunchyville. I moved here about four months ago and have yet to make any substantial steps towards this goal. But, again, I try
- Plant a vegetable garden. (This relates to goal #2: I want to eat a wider variety of vegetables to help me lose weight, but also goal #6: I want to encourage in my son a reverence for nature and sustainable living. Shit, I should add a new goal.
- Go Green so that by the time my son is old enough to understand what that means, he’ll be there right with me. He’ll have a natural aversion to things like fast-food; processed foods; consumerism; materialism
So these are my goals at the moment. And this morning, high on an endorphin rush, I realized that nobody in their right mind would have goals like these. But I do and I can’t imagine not having them, because these things mean very much to me. (OK, I lie. The vegetable garden…not so much…but it would be so nice, and I keep saying that one day I’ll get around to that, but I guess I could live without a vegetable garden. But not without the others, especially the stuff about the kid and the book).
I am truly concerned that these goals will not materialize. And maybe that’s my problem. Goals don’t materialize. The Wonder Twins do. Goals come about through perseverance, steady attention, unwavering commitment. I hear you’re supposed to think big while taking small steps. But something tells me that all the steps in the world will never be enough. Maybe it’s because just the small stuff exhausts me: what to healthy thing can I make for dinner tonight; what to talk about in class tomorrow; when to catch up on personal emails; when to get through the piles of essays. You get the point. This is just me freaking out. It’s my blog, tis my right!
ME: Did you see the list of committee assignments Dept. Chair sent out?
Other New Hire (and a cool gal, I might add): Yeah.
ME: Can you believe I’m “Diversity Outreach Coordinator?” Um…what’s up with that?
ONH: Oh, I know. [Spouse] and I were wondering if that annoyed you, having to be “Captain Latina” and all.
It’s official: I, new-professor-with-hispanic-surname, am the Latino Student Union Faculty Advisor, the Latino Studies Minor Faculty Advisor, and the Diversity Outreach Coordinator for my department. I’m also on the Advisory Board for the American Cultural Studies program. Sounds intense, but you won’t find me complaining. While these ethno-admin roles might seem like a lot of work, they actually only translate into 2 meetings/year and extra office hours once each quarter for students who might (but often don’t) come with questions about The Minor, which doesn’t take effect until late 2008. So at the moment I find it worthy of a joke or two every now and then. Ah…the absurdities of identity politics. ONH’s spouse is also a new-professor-with-ethnic-surname, so at least I’m not alone. Until they-with-names-that-do-not-matter catch on to the fact that I do very little, service-wise, and assign me additional committee duties, I’m keeping mum. Why fix it if it ain’t broken? I know “it” might very well stand for a pervasive pattern in which academics-of-color are administratively “exploited” and expected to “represent” an ethnic group to which they, like me, feel no “authentic” cultural ties. Is it politically incorrect or an act of integrity to feel annoyed by having to represent la raza?
In the end, what do I care? Said exploitation isn’t happening in my little universe, so I’m not worrying about it. I know, I know. There are those who might say I should step up for “my” people, but I’ve got a kid to raise, a book to write, and classes to teach.
Sheesh.
What does an assistant professor of English with a concentration in U.S. Latina/o Literature, but with no ties to The Homeland, get for her second wedding anniversary?
The answer, mi amigo, is this:
The fine print towards the bottom reads:
“Currently there are nearly 30 million Hispanics in the United States. You need to communicate in Spanish if you’re…
- In the business community
- In the public sector
- An educator or a social worker
- Or posing as a professor of U.S. Latina/o Literature”
Thanks, Mr. G! I’m looking forward most of all to the “helpful drawings and amusing cartoons.”
